Tackiness Boogie

This week's new message on the lighted sign at the neighborhood's ELCA Tower of Tackiness:

JESUS IS THE ROCK AND HE ROLLED MY BLUES AWAY

I believe this is known, in dogmatics textbooks, as the "beat me, Daddy, eight to the bar" theory of atonement. It is closely related to the theory that the apostles were a hair band, although the general, unwashed public doesn't know this as it stumbles past this church, laughing themselves sick on a mental image of a bunch of stiff, Scandinavian Lutherans grooving to a backbeat. To me, however, it brings to mind Matthew 18:6 and the fact that one particular stone that rolls is called a millstone...