Monday, August 30, 2010

Weep, Ye Bachelors 2

As you contemplate your evening meal of a freezer-burned burrito, microwaved to a sizzling tough (Oops! You thought I was going to say crisp, didn't you?), and as you anticipate the various unpleasant things it is going to do to your digestion by tomorrow morning, just think: You could have been at home with Mom. What did she make for dinner in your absence? Here it is in her own words!
I made the most succulent breasts. Tell that to your bachelors. Chicken breasts that is.

Take four skinless breasts. Wash and pat dry. Beat two eggs in a dish, and bathe the breasts in the beaten eggs. Then roll the breasts that have been dipped in egg in prepared Italian-flavored dry bread crumbs.

Fire up the electric skillet (my favorite appliance). Pour canola oil in said skillet, and let that oil heat up. Drop your breasts in the hot oil and cover the pan. Let 'em crisp up before turning 'em over. Keep an eye out that they don't burn. Oh BLEEP! Forgot the salt, pepper, and Grill Creations chicken seasoning. That's a good seasoning blend made by Durkee.

I had chicken breast, a medium baked potato, and a low calorie vegetable medley on the side. [For lunch the next day] I made a chicken salad with one of the remaining breasts and Hellman's mayonnaise (USE IT!!!!) Slap that on a piece of good 100% whole wheat bread, and have good crispy pickles or green olives on the side... Well look at that! Cooking is sensuous!!!
Yea, bachelors: weep! But try to keep at least one corner of your handkerchief clean so you can hack into it when, at 2:30 tomorrow morning, you wake up choking on acid reflux. You should have gone home to Mom!

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