Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Revenge of the Bachelor Gourmet

Today I finally weakened.

I had been holding out on using that last packet of unflavored, instant oatmeal at work, for the obvious reason that it was unflavored. Without anything to cover up its native flavor, plain oatmeal is about the taste equivalent of licking a yak. But somehow, no source of flavoring materialized. No maple syrup. No fresh raspberries. No honey. No raisins. No apples and brown sugar.

All I had left was three little tear-open packets of Heinz Catsup, saved from a McDonald's carry-out sack. They had been sitting atop the microwave for several weeks, daring me to mix them with oatmeal.

Today was the day. It's not that I was out of other stuff to eat. But I had decided if I had one more lunch of ramen noodles, I was going to lose it. Lunch, mind, whatever. So I zapped the oatmeal in the microwave, added three squeezable packets of catsup, and...

Well, I was able to keep it down. In fact, it wasn't as awful as you might think. But please, bear in mind that I tell this story to entertain - not to recommend.

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